Winners and Losers of Stranger Things</em> S3

Our favorite children and adults from the second best town in Indiana* are back for a third go with the mysterious creatures from the Upside-Down! Here are my personal winners and losers for Season 3.

SPOILERS ahead! (Obviously)

WINNERS

Eleven - If the cast of Stranger Things were the 2017 Cleveland Cavaliers, Eleven is LeBron James. Everyone else barely contributes and it’s basically an MVP performance from Eleven that prevents all of our heroes from dying gruesome deaths. It got to a point about mid season where I had a ‘power problem’ with Eleven, much like how Marvel has a power problem with Captain Marvel, where these characters have been given so much power by the writers that they basically are unstoppable. El losing her powers was a nice twist, but I think it needed to happen earlier. Curious to see how they treat that arc in S4.

After spending the majority of season 2 in Lancaster (solitude), El finally gets to mingle with other characters. Her relationship with Mike is mostly hormone-driven and not all that interesting and kind of weird to watch, and her relationship with Max is enjoyable but limited in emotional scope. My favorite Eleven moments are watching her interact with normal American things that she’s never had a chance to see before. She’s like an international student and it’s adorable. I hope there’s one whole episode in S4 of her just walking around a Best Buy or something and trying to figure out what a shakeweight is.

Oh, and El? You’re quickly reaching the age where you might not want to spy on your guy friends randomly. There are things you won’t be able to unsee.

Dustin and Steve - I’m ready to anoint these two to the Bromance Pantheon** after this season. Both continue to impress with their acting chops as the seasons progress, and Steve’s hair just keep getting better (how?) Steve may have the best character arc in whole series - he was introduced as your typical high school bully and antagonist, and originally was supposed to die at the end of the first season. My favorite Steve moment is the bathroom scene with him and Robin. In his emotional climax of the season, he has a touching monologue about his past and his current feelings towards Robin. She gently rebukes him while revealing that she is in fact, lesbian. In true Steve fashion, it takes him several moments to understand what she’s saying but within moments, he’s cracking jokes and supporting his friend - a truly wholesome moment.

Dustin continues to steal every scene that he’s in, although he has competition this time in the form of Erica. He has great chemistry with every scene partner he has, and plays his comedic and dramatic moments perfectly. I’d like to go on record that I think Gaten Matarazzo (the actor) will go on to have the longest career of all the Stranger Things actors. The kid is just too damn likeable!

Goo - There is a lot of goo in this season. It’s super gross. Rats turn into goo, people turn into goo, the goo makes noises, the goo joins together to make a bigger goo creature, etc. Goo stock has never been higher. Not a lot of emotional beats for goo this season though. Hopefully it can get a good acting coach and we can see a wider range for S4.

LOSERS

The Byers Family - I think the Byers take a big L this season, all for different reasons:
+ Will, the plot device of seasons 1 & 2, gets a break from the limelight (and weird possession!) in S3. He has a nice emotional moment when he destroys his wooden hideaway***, but I have to dock major points for how whiny he is and how his inability to read a room caused unnecessary drama. Also that purple robe outfit he wore made me so, so very angry.
+ Jonathan - I was rooting for him in seasons 1 & 2 as well, but S3 made me realize how boring he is. Not sure what he brings to the table that other characters don’t. I wonder how long his long distance relationship with Nancy is going to last. You can only have so many conversations about shared trauma…
+ Joyce - I’m pretty sure this poor woman is cursed. I thought my love life was bad, at least the people I pursue aren’t dying! When she makes an account on 1980’s Tinder, I hope she’s upfront and honest about how all of her previous relationships ended. But to be honest, I’d still swipe right regardless.

Russians - Russians get a bad rep this season. Not dangerous enough to be the main baddie and not competent enough to really make me worried as a viewer. They are what I call ‘functionally incompetent.’ They have an Arnold Schwarzenegger knock-off does his best to be menacing but just comes off like an insecure frat boy who tries too hard and starts fights at the club. Even Smirnoff / Alexei, who at first is supposed to be some uber-competent scientist, ends up being a kid at heart. This duality should be a fine character choice and is something Stranger Things does all the time, but I think the impact of it is lessened by the how one-note the rest of the Russians are. RIP Alexei, I hope they have cherry slurpies up in Russian heaven.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Robin - I’m glad Robin is such a good character, because now I don’t have to force myself to be invested in Nancy Wheeler’s annoying shenanigans. Robin totally has ‘girl-next-door’ vibes, and is probably the most grounded character in the whole series. Granted, she’s never dealt with the ‘Upside-Down’ before this moment, but she still took the news in stride. Certainly better than how I’d handle the news anyway. I’m excited for the perspective and energy she’ll bring to the gang for next season. Maybe less people will die because of sheer stupidity!

Hopper - By far the most consistently entertaining thing in the first half of the season for me was Hopper’s slow descent into madness. The grizzled beard, dad bod, and crazy eyes made all of his dialogue 150% better. The decision to kill him off was bold one, but I hope they stick to their guns and don’t bring him back magically for S4****. Hopper’s final letter to El is a prime contender for best tear-jerker of the year - shades of “I love you 3000” with the 3 inches callback.

The only reason I didn’t give Hop the full W (besides formatting reasons) is not really his fault. Joyce and Hopper (Hoyce? Jopper?) were being forced down our throats from the first episode, and the chemistry was very hit and miss basically until the last episode. The couple started getting really insufferable and not fun to watch when they were traveling with Alexei. I’m convinced that in episode 7 the writers basically wrote themselves out of a hole using conspiracy Murray to call out sexual drama that didn’t exist*****.

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*What’s good Pawnee?
**Other members of the pantheon: Troy & Abed, Legolas & Gimli, Han Solo & Chewbacca, Magic Johnson & Larry Bird.
***Why did he still hang out in there? Didn’t he get slugs pumped into him at the end of S1 in that same hideout? I love Chick-fil-A, but if I got ‘upside-downed’ in one you’d best bet I’m switching to team Taco Bell as fast as possible.
****Standard TV rules are “if you didn’t see ____ die, they are still alive.”
*****Murray did this with high school Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers too, and it was implied that he heard it / watched it all go down. How is he not in jail?